Markus went home to Finland today since he has to go back to work as he finished his exams almost a week before me. It feels strange to be without him, I’m just waiting for him to suddenly walk down the stairs or to come out of the kitchen. And it may sound silly because we will only be apart for a week, but when you live with someone and spend most of your time with that person, you like “grow together”. I had a hard time getting used to having Markus close to me all the time when we first moved together. I am a lone wolf and I need (!) lonely time to maintain a stable mental state haha. But that’s the beauty of relationships. You grow, compromise and learn about yourself and the other person.
Relationships are beautiful but they can also be really ugly (which of course leads to both growing) 🙂 Markus and I work hard every day to find a good balance where we both feel comfortable and happy. Many times we succeed, but of course we also fail, which is ok. I have always prepared myself for the fact that marriage would be hard work, but I had no idea how hard it would be. Don’t get me wrong, Markus and I are really happy and most of the time we just enjoy each other’s company. But it does not matter how much you love each other, marriage and relationships are full of misunderstandings, different opinions, hurt feelings, bad days, stress and (from my side, pms haha) and you can’t avoid it. Something that is important to me, however, is how determined you are to stick to it and how willing you are to work for it. But to be honest, sometimes I’m 100% willing but it still feels like it’s impossible to solve the problems and you wonder what you are doing wrong. But that’s the way it is and you just have to try to get back to the core of it all, which is the love you have for each other, that’s why you are in a relationship to start with. Love must be nourished and cherished through life and it does not have to be the big things in life that contribute to it, but rather the little things in life.
Markus and I both enjoy finding new places in nature to enjoy and, at least according to me, it is one of those little things in life that has a balming effect for me and Markus. The other day we ended up in a nature park near Swansea, actually by mistake, but the nature there was so beautiful! It reminded me a lot of Asia and I felt a little nostalgic. I was also happy that we had found a little special place near us.
These are the kind of moments that I save in my little mental memory box that I can bring forth on rainy days <3
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